I promised Clare from Eat Stuff that I'd go ahead and attempt to eat Vegemite. After her Vegemite-for-non-Aussies post, I'd pretty much committed myself to actually trying some Vegemite from this little bottle brought back by a friend from Australia. So I figured today, with the bright sunny sky shining and nice breezes would be as good a day as any to die.......
But someone had already tried some of the Vegemite. A few days ago I got a phone call from the Missus:
She: "I think there's something wrong with the Vegemite"
Me: "Ummm, okay, what's wrong?
She: "Well, I tasted some...."
Me: "You Tasted Some!"
She: "Yeah I tasted some, and it tastes like it's rotten or spoiled or something!"
Me: "Can't be, I've been told it lasts forever!"
She: "Nothing lasts forever..."
Me: "Maybe Vegemite does, it might be the perfect food."
pause....
She: "So you've never tasted this Vegemite stuff...."
Me: "No, I, um.."
She: "So it could be spoiled and you wouldn't even know it!"
Me: "From what I understand, this stuff tastes so terrible, it really wouldn't matter if it was spoiled or not!"
click....
On a follow-up phone call, a detailed description of the taste and texture of the Vegemite was passed on to me, to be kept forever in the "bowels" of my mind. In case you want a little history of Vegemite it can be found here.
So this morning I set out to make me some Vegemite toast. For some reason a song kept popping up in my head - "Goodbye Papa its hard to die..... ".
I decided to use wheat toast. I mean, Vegemite is "healthy", right? So I figured wheat toast is the way to go. I spread some butter on the toast, and got a little spoon of Vegemite. At first glance, Vegemite is black and tar-like, with a distinct yeasty smell. I moved the spoon toward Sammy who ran and hid in the bathroom. Not a good sign!
"When all the birds are singing in the sky...."
So I spread the Vegemite on the toast best I could:
I actually tried to make a "smiley face", which failed horribly, so my extreme lack of artistic talent is clearly visible to the entire world. See any apparition on the toast that could possibly make me some cash on Ebay? I then thought, "any black food that I like", "caviar", "yeah, that's the ticket, caviar is black, caviaaarrrr...", "aaah, who am I kidding, this is about as far from caviar as I can get!"
So I took a bite, than another for good measure. The taste? Well after having my stomach pumped in the ER - just kidding Clare! It's very salty, and a bit on the bitter-astringent side. I didn't enjoy the after taste it left, but overall not a bad experience. Not something I'll ever crave, but I'd eat it if I had to. Thanks Clare, this was fun. That Vegemite would just have continued being a paperweight at work, if not for your encouragement.
Another song just popped into my head:
We are happy little Vegemites as bright as bright can be,
We all enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea,
Our mummy says we're growing stronger every single week,
Because we love our Vegemite,
We all adore our Vegemite,
It puts a rose in every cheek!
:) Funny post! I like how the distorted smiley on the toast mirrors your inner turmoil as you're about to taste the vegemite. I've only tasted vegemite once about 10 years ago, and I don't think I'll be doing a repeat in this lifetime :)
Posted by: howie | Saturday, 20 August 2005 at 05:28 PM
LOL!
It was still too thick in some spots, you need to spread it out with a butter knife and just where is the cup of tea? :P
I am so proud of you for actually trying it :)
Posted by: clare eats | Saturday, 20 August 2005 at 07:45 PM
Hi Howie - It was interesting. Fun, but I really didn't care for the aftertaste - but I've had worse. I think vegemite's bad rep is somewhat overblown.
Hi Clare - Well I promised. I did have a diet coke, but even that wouldn't get the aftertaste to go away. Vegemite isn't that bad, it's just the look and it smells kinda funky. I probably should have spread it alot better - but don't you like the "modern art" look it had!
Posted by: Kirk | Saturday, 20 August 2005 at 09:47 PM
Yea, I'm kinda thinkin' how anything made of yeast could really be that bad. Considering wine, bread, cheese... Not like belancan where my husband, who is in another room, thinks the baby has a poop diaper, nope, did Pepper poop? nope, do my hands smell like poop? nope... finally wanders into the kitchen where his wife waves a skillet under his nose asking "what do you think of this?" HA! Talk about classic! ANYWAY, Kirk, you shoulda had sourdough toast and LOTS more butter to facilitate spreading. Clare, what about mixing it with a bit of honey?
Posted by: Jo | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 12:25 AM
This....a food blog? Your toast-post is pure opera. Seriously, though....fine post. Are you still there, Kirk?
Posted by: RONW | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 03:43 AM
Kirk, love the look :) you might have enjoyed it a bit more if you had of spread it more carefully though...
Jo Honey? hmm never tried that's for sure!
Posted by: clare eats | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 05:49 AM
Hi Jo - You'll think this is funny, but I'm not much of a butter on toast kind of person, so I tend to "spread it thin". And vegemite is not that bad, it just kinda has an identity problem!
Hi RONW - I'm still breathing! I had alot of fun putting this post together. Thanks!
Hi Clare - I think anyone should have the vegemite in your "classic" manner, first. I don't know why the thought of adding anything sweet to this makes me shudder....I will do a better job of "spreading the vegemite" next time.
Posted by: Kirk | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 07:58 AM
funny. great entry! love the pictures!
Posted by: Annie | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 02:16 PM
Hi Kirk,
I commend you for having the will to try this. After hearing so much about it, I will probably never try it myself.
Posted by: Reid | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 02:53 PM
I have to agree Kitk, a lot more butter and a cup of tea. It is a little too thick in some areas. OK enough complaining, it was a fun post! Thanks Kirk for being brave! LOL :D
Posted by: milgwimper | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 03:02 PM
Hi Annie - Thanks, it was alot of fun to write!
Hi Reid - It's not so bad - after all you baga-ong, right? It's really salty, but I don't like the aftertaste, tried to wipe it off my tongue :o(
Hi Mills - What happened is I tried to be artistic and make a smiley face that was an utter failure. I'm not a tea and "bread" kinda guy....
Posted by: Kirk | Sunday, 21 August 2005 at 03:25 PM
Hi Kirk,
I think your vegemite bread art may fetch as much as my crayon drawings. ha ha
Nice post...I've always been curious about vegemite myself, though I've never had the urge to try it.
Posted by: dailygluttony | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 10:41 AM
Since I have to be on a gluten free diet I have not had any vegemite for 12 years or so (sniff...) but my ultimate favourite dish as a kid was poached eggs on vegemite and toast(lots of butter,it melds with the black stuff) and grated tasty cheddar cheese all over the top. Yummy. I saw it in a picture in an Aussie womans magazine in the 60's and I am miffed we kiwis didn't think of it first!!!I guess we should be satisfied with the ultimate glory of having invented the Pavlova!!!!
Posted by: Pukeko Palace | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 01:39 PM
LOL! Now you must do a taste test comparison with Marmite!
Posted by: elmomonster | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 03:21 PM
Hi Pam - Believe me, my "artistic talents" are nothing compared to yours:
http://dailygluttony.blogspot.com/2005/08/please-help-starving-artist.html
Hi Pukeko Palace - Thanks for commenting! That recipe sounds like it might taste real good, especially given the salty taste of the vegemite - I think the Missus will give it a try!
Hi Elmo - Know anywhere I can get my hands on some Marmite????
Posted by: Kirk | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 05:16 PM
Aloha Kirk! I'm visiting. Am I provacative too like RonW? LOL Anyways, we just sold our resturant called MAMA'S and Benny's in Chinatown this past September. Reading your post and seeing the name MAMA'S brought back memories.
thanks,
Lynn
Posted by: Lynn Vasquez | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 11:05 PM
Wow, such a post!
HUZZAH TO THE HOST!
I lift to thee a toast!
You really are the most!
Although you never boast!
Even after eating nasty roast!
Posted by: Jo | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 11:18 PM
Hi Lynne - I welcome the provocative, so long it's about food! Thank you for visiting! BTW I miss a place we used to go after "yo-ta" they made donuts in Chinatown - only open after midnight......
Hi Jo - Yo-so poetic!!!! LOL!
Posted by: Kirk | Monday, 22 August 2005 at 11:42 PM
::wink:: Ain't I though?
Posted by: Jo | Tuesday, 23 August 2005 at 09:43 AM